Saturday, July 7, 2012


i can't believe it's been so long since i last posted!!!!  wow, just when i thought i may be good at this i turned into a major slacker.

anyways....LOTS of updates and changes.  i have recently accepted a new full time position in visual merchandising with my old company!!!!  i am super happy about it but it brings me to some cross roads.  i started this biz with the thoughts of screw big businesses, i'm gonna be an artist.  i'm gonna put all the energy and effort into what's mine and not another company.  but the thing is i have had a steady paycheck for so long that when i didn't i felt a little well...lost.  i have managed to balance craft/life/work for so long that maybe that is what really works for me.  i am happy to say i am still teaching painting b/c that still works with my new FT regular schedule! 

since becoming unemployed and then moving last year i have had a very "whatever will be will be" attitude.  trying to figure it all out in a new city will leave you with no other way to look at it without driving yourself crazy.  the truth is, i'd like to be one of those people that is very casual and happy with getting some money here and there but i don't think i am that person.  i admire those people.  the happy go lucky kind of people...i just drive myself crazy working toward the next *maybe* paycheck.  now i am swarmed with all those questions like --am i giving up too soon?  am i settling into a routine or really what's right for me? 

i do know a few things...some major changes might be coming up in the next month that i can't share yet.  if this change happens then this is the right move for me.  also, i know that i can keep crafting as long as i have the motivation to.  it just won't be my full time gig.  i need to craft for happiness.  it is part of who i am.  i will still dream of being a successful artist but then again maybe i need to change my definition of success.  i always tell my husband his success should=happiness.  i need to approach it the same way and not judge by monetary income. 

i didn't mean for this to be such a sappy post but i went all MIA on you and i felt i needed to share my absence.  and it kinda helps me sort some stuff out too by just writing about it.  i will continue to craft til the day i die but for now i am going to be a little slow at it.